The 6 Human Needs and how it affects life
Today’s topic I am going to cover is the 6 Human Needs and how these human needs apply to every relationship you are in, throughout your life. Your needs, your partner’s needs, your kids’ needs, your bosses’ needs, your co-workers’ needs, your friend’s needs and how to meet them are critical points of every relationship! The information will help you become a bit of a practical psychologist as YOU will be able to analyze people’s behaviors and know a bit more about WHY they say what they say or do what they do! It really will be eye opening! We believe we all have 6 human needs, and the first four needs are the needs of the physical body, and the last two are the needs of the spirit. We must have these needs met for survival, and the last two are needed for us to be a well rounded, grounded, contributing member of society! Enjoy the information!
The first of the human needs is:
1. Love/connection –everyone needs connection with others and every one strives for and hopes for love. As babies, we have the need to be loved and cared for during our youth if we are to develop normally. Babies that receive no human touch or human love die. The need for love, of course, continues throughout our lives. It is epitomized by the concept of romantic love; the one person who will devote their life to us and us to them and will make us feel alive and joyful. Some people rarely experience love, but they have many ways of feeling connection with themselves and others, whether it be through depression, in the community or in the workplace. Yes, the need for love can be met in both positive and negative ways. The need to be loved is characteristic of all human beings. Sometimes people will use different words for love such as togetherness, passion, or united. Connection can also be conveyed with words such as warmth, tenderness, desire. The person using depression to gain love or connection does so through the use of anger and the feeling of helplessness. We will discuss this further later.
The Second of the human needs is:
2. Significance –every person needs to feel important, needed, and wanted. Our personal significance comes from comparing ourselves to others, what our blueprint is of the world, and where in the great scheme of things we feel like we fit. In our quest for significance, we are always involved in questions of superiority and inferiority. We can feel significant because we have achieved something, built something, succeeded at something, or we can seek significance by tearing down somebody or something. In its positive aspect, significance leads us to raise our standards. But if we are overly focused on significance, we will have trouble truly connecting with others – comparisons focus on differences rather than commonalities. For some, significance comes from providing for the family; for others, from doing meaningful work; some need to make a major contribution to the community; some require considerable wealth. Some people achieve a sense of significance by failure, by being the worst at something, or by having low self-esteem and even being depressed. People also fill their need for significance by turning to crime-how significant is a man in your face waving a gun? Pretty significant, right? Whatever the measure of significance, a sense of being important and needed is necessary to all human beings. Words used in place of significance would be pride, importance, standards, achievement, performance, perfection, evaluation, discipline, competition, respect, and fear of rejection
The third of the human needs is:
3. Certainty –we want to feel safe, avoid pain, and feel comfortable in our environment and our relationships. Every individual needs to have some sense of certainty and security – a roof over one’s head, knowing where the next meal will come from, knowing how to obtain care when one is sick, and knowing that a neighbor won’t attack us. We also need to know that certain people or things in our life will always be there, no matter what. Everyone needs certainty but the degree to which certainty is needed or desired varies from person to person. The overwhelming need for certainty can be destructive to a person’s life. If they have such a strong need for certainty, it could lead to them never leaving their house, never allowing anyone to visit their home, and even cutting off phone, email, or written communication. Even though some certainty is necessary to all of us, what constitutes certainty varies from one person to another. Other words commonly used to describe certainty are comfort, security, safety, stability, feeling grounded, predictability, and protection.
The fourth of the human needs is:
4. Uncertainty/variety –we have a need for variety and challenges that exercise our emotional and physical range. Everyone needs some variety-our bodies, our minds, our emotional well-being- all require uncertainty, exercise, suspense, and surprise. We all like surprises, right? WRONG. We like the surprises we want!! There is a wonderful quote by Tony Robbins that I have adopted, and it is: “The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably live with.” I absolutely love this statement, and will continue to repeat it probably for the rest of my life. Other words used to describe uncertainty or variety are fear, thrills, instability, change, entertainment, suspense, exertion, surprise, conflict, and crisis
The fifth of the human needs is:
5. Growth –when we stop growing, we die. We need to constantly develop emotionally, intellectually, financially, and spiritually. We grow and change physically as we develop from infancy to adulthood and into old age, just as we grow and change emotionally with every experience, and we grow intellectually as we take in circumstances and events in our lives and those of the people in our world. We grow financially through not only earning more hopefully, but also through learning about investing and saving for our retirement and our children’s education, etc. Everything we love or want to stay a part of our lives needs nurturing, from our children to our siblings to our parents to our co-workers and people involved in a charity with us. Some people satisfy the need to grow by working out physically or by reading a book, others need to study and learn constantly in order to feel that they are truly growing. Other words for growth are developing, learning, self-improvement, studying, and understanding.
The sixth of the human needs is:
6.Contribution – to go beyond our own needs and to give to others. To give beyond oneself. One’s life is incomplete without the sense that we are making a contribution to others or to a cause or to the world. It is the nature of human beings to want to give back; to leave a mark on the world. Giving to others may mean giving time to community service, making a charitable donation, planting trees, or giving to one’s children. Not only can everyone contribute in some way, but contribution is essential to a sense of fulfillment and happiness. One of the greatest and most heart-felt ways to contribute is through compassion. Compassion is not simply feeling empathy for people in a certain situation; for instance people involved in a tsunami or the families affected by the events of 9/11, but wanting and NEEDING to help in some way, even if it is saying prayers or donating blood or sitting with survivors and just listening. Other words for contribution are giving, sharing, helping, supporting, guiding, teaching, and making a difference.
Watch for our next blog post where we will give you LOTS of ideas on how to fulfill each other’s needs in positive and creative ways! Thank you for reading!