In today’s fast paced world, it is so easy to forget to let those we love know how we feel, and as a very special person in my life recently asked me, “with the ease of technology, why is it difficult for people to communicate”? Well, there is definitely more than one answer to that question, so let’s try to break it down:
The Reasons (aka Excuses we tell ourselves) we don’t communicate
We live such fast paced lives, it is rather easy to let hours, days, weeks, months, sometimes even years fly by without reaching out to someone special in our lives; whether it be a brother, sister, aunt, uncle, grandparent, or a friend. We get so wrapped up in work, the kids’ schedules, home maintenance, entertaining our families, and taking care of all of the appointments for everyone in the house that we sometimes forget the most important aspect of our time on this Earth: Our relationships.
We think to ourselves, “I know I haven’t talked to so and so in forever, but they know I care” which gives us the false notion that it is okay for us to not drop everything and pick up the phone or write a personal letter, email, or even a text. This leads to disappointment if the unthinkable happens, and we never get that chance to tell them one last time.
We might think to ourselves, “well, if they truly cared, they would write, email, call, text, or something.” This is a selfish way to look at things, and will only lead to guilty feelings in the future. Take the time, take the initiative, and take the credit for being the one to initiate communication; you will be so happy you did.
Facebook and other social media have made it so that people think, “I don’t need to call or email or text or write; everything they need to know about me is on my wall or other medium for all the world to see”. This, of course, is a very disconnected thought process, and while friends and family can see what is going on in your life based on your posts (provided, of course, that they are ON that social medium) they would also love to have a conversation with you about why you visited that restaurant or vacation destination and with whom or what you thought of that movie you saw on Saturday, or how you are truly feeling about a particular situation that might not be social media appropriate.
Our Romantic Relationship and the Lack of Communication
It is just as easy and an even more critical situation when this mentality seeps into our intimate relationship. When we think that we are just too busy or that the other person knows we love them and are thinking about them and we don’t send a loving text or make a quick phone call just to say, “I love you” or to write a personalized note and leave it somewhere, it can put unnecessary strains on the relationship. When we open up, however, and take the time to send that note, text, email, or phone call, it lets the other person know that, at that very moment, as crazy busy as you are, you are thinking about them and how special they are to you and that they are priority number 1 in your life.
We Let Them Know When They Have Fallen Short
After all, how many of us have taken the time to let our significant other know that they DIDN’T do something (ie take out the trash, make a deposit, or pick up their socks) or that they NEED to do something (ie pick up the dry cleaning, go to the bank, or pick up milk on their way home) or DID do (ie hurt your feelings with words they said or did not say)?
Why Not Take the Time to Build Our Relationship
By taking the time to send these loving messages, notes, or phone calls, we can help a strained relationship or strengthen an already solid one. Even if, in the beginning, we need to set alarms or reminders to send the little sweet nothings, sooner or later, it will become second nature, and your heart will do a pitter patter every time you hear that special ring tone or message alert!
When we realize that we have these needs (remember the 6 human needs we discussed in the last article) and so does our significant other; we can make our relationship one of fiery passion, intense intimacy, and deeply fulfilling love that will last a lifetime!
Beginning Communication for the Lovelorn
For awesome little “I Love You”, “I Miss You” , and “I’m Thinking of You” picture messages, visit www.Photobucket.com and enter “I love you” or “I miss you” or “I’m thinking of you” in the search bar, and lots of different options will pop up…go through and download as many as you like, and then start sharing with that significant person in your life!!
There is another great way to learn what your intimate partner’s languages are, and we will discuss this in my next article, so stay Grateful, stay Abundant, stay Passionate, and stay tuned!!